During my final weeks in Australia, while living with my sister, I read a book on a woman who moved from Venice to a small town in Umbria and her reflections on life there. It was also a chronicle of the food of the region, which always intrigues me. One line in the book spoke of deliberately choosing to live a quieter life, and that therefore they were not anxious to quickly create habits and structures to their new life, but rather to let these build slowly and to find a new rhythm.
This struck a chord at the time, and still does.
I’m still building habits and structures for this life. Some have solidified through choice, some have been inherited as part of moving into someone else’s life, and some I have acquired through drift. I’m also at a stage of worn-outed-ness such that some positive habits I was creating have slipped back into my previous not-so-positive ones. I was getting good at meal planning and preparing myself for work before I went to bed. I was getting good at getting through to-do lists. These have slipped, although I suspect I’m a bit sick/exhausted at the moment, so this will pick up again.
Partially, I suspect these structures and habits will build once we’re in our own house, rather than sharing a flat, and all my stuff is out of boxes. Maybe.
On the other hand there’s been a lot of negotiation around the even more basic life assumptions, like communication between partners, how the past affects reactions in the present, how children are dealt with, what the expected levels of house maintenance are, and building knowledge and confidence in various areas that I really shouldn’t surprised that I’m worn-out.
The one habit I’m not acquiring, but would like to have, think I should have is correspondence. There’s many lovely people who have written me emails, and I have failed to respond. There’s many lovely people who have not written me emails, mostly as they don’t have my address (ex-work colleagues for instance). The problem is finding time and a voice. I don’t feel I can write these emails during work hours, DECC’s restriction on personal mail systems knocked that out of me, but I am tired and don’t feel like writing when I am at home. Anyway, if you have written me, thank you, I’ve loved the thought and reading about what’s going on. I’m really sorry for not responding, yet.