This may lead some people to think I am a bit barmy, but I’ve realised over the last week that I am homesick, but for a very specific aspect of my life. Work.
I miss having my own desk with plants and pictures and my files and plans on the walls.
I miss being a respected font of knowledge in a particular area, and having people ask me regular questions that involved nuanced detailed answers.
I miss my boss coming up to my desk at irregular intervals and asking where I’m at, which was always code for “I’ve got some work for you”. Which relates to me missing the situation where each day had the potential to bring a new, possibly pressured task to do, which I thrived.
I miss the phone ringing. It doesn’t here. I miss meetings. I *almost* miss 2 hour teleconferences with a chair that insisted on repeating everything that we said and waffling. Almost, but not yet. Although I do miss the sense of accomplishment in being the only person who actually prepared for those teleconferences and was able to meaningfully contribute.
I miss having to wear at least 3 different hats on any given day, and the variety that went with that.
I miss being responsible for a process or project that I’ve been involved with since the beginning, that actually matters to someone other than a management committee spinning wheels in case they get rubbished for something beyond their control.
I miss the political machinations. The sense of camaraderie and cohesiveness that came from working on a difficult policy area.
I miss the sense of being part of something bigger and doing something worthwhile. I miss doing something that was almost always guaranteed to generate a conversation at parties where I didn’t know anyone.
I miss actually feeling like a worthwhile member of my team, whom my Director depends upon.
Here’s hoping tomorrow goes well!
-for anyone from SPD reading this post, click on the photo above and it will take you to all the photos I took in the office while I was there. Oh, and Jenny, I read the May EPHC communique today and almost giggled/cried at the statements, and waht they mean for the work we were all doing, especially the ones relating to CDS.