Archive for the ‘daily life’ Category

(as an antidote to the long posts)

  1. I find I get inordinately offended if anyone implicitly questions my honesty and honour.
  2. I inadvertently ate some fresh chillis at lunch. Now I am all spacey and concentrating is a particular challenge, but it also feels like I am incredibly focussed and skillful. It’s a very strange intolerance that I have.
  3. I just found a tiny muscle under my jaw that is tight on the left hand side, but not the right. Evidence that my back/neck issues are also jaw related, something most practictioners have never picked up on.
  4. Reading the free papers available at train stations makes me depressed. Reading WIRED magazine, or a proper broadsheet paper does not.

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In which I bitch about how horrible Tuesdays are. Most of the post is hidden, since I’m sure not everyone actually wants to read it. Mostly I need to vent.


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New Rhythms

During my final weeks in Australia, while living with my sister, I read a book on a woman who moved from Venice to a small town in Umbria and her reflections on life there. It was also a chronicle of the food of the region, which always intrigues me. One line in the book spoke of deliberately choosing to live a quieter life, and that therefore they were not anxious to quickly create habits and structures to their new life, but rather to let these build slowly and to find a new rhythm.

This struck a chord at the time, and still does.

I’m still building habits and structures for this life. Some have solidified through choice, some have been inherited as part of moving into someone else’s life, and some I have acquired through drift. I’m also at a stage of worn-outed-ness such that some positive habits I was creating have slipped back into my previous not-so-positive ones. I was getting good at meal planning and preparing myself for work before I went to bed. I was getting good at getting through to-do lists. These have slipped, although I suspect I’m a bit sick/exhausted at the moment, so this will pick up again.

Partially, I suspect these structures and habits will build once we’re in our own house, rather than sharing a flat, and all my stuff is out of boxes. Maybe.

On the other hand there’s been a lot of negotiation around the even more basic life assumptions, like communication between partners, how the past affects reactions in the present, how children are dealt with, what the expected levels of house maintenance are, and building knowledge and confidence in various areas that I really shouldn’t surprised that I’m worn-out.

The one habit I’m not acquiring, but would like to have, think I should have is correspondence. There’s many lovely people who have written me emails, and I have failed to respond. There’s many lovely people who have not written me emails, mostly as they don’t have my address (ex-work colleagues for instance). The problem is finding time and a voice. I don’t feel I can write these emails during work hours, DECC’s restriction on personal mail systems knocked that out of me, but I am tired and don’t feel like writing when I am at home. Anyway, if you have written me, thank you, I’ve loved the thought and reading about what’s going on. I’m really sorry for not responding, yet.

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I remembered the other day that when I was 20 and had just completed my Engineering holiday placement between 2nd and 3rd year that my chief thought was that I wanted to find a way to retire by the time I was 30. This of course led to the decision to not become an engineer, however, for the purposes of this blog it’s interesting that for the past 3.5 weeks I have essentially been retired, or at least acting as if I am. It’s quite nice to have wishes fulfilled.

“Unemployed” is not the right term as I’ve not really been actively looking for work, giving myself some headspace to settle into life with J rather than rush off to build everything at once. When I opened a bank account here the customer service rep needed to list my current occupation. We settled on “homemaker” as “it’s looks much better than unemployed” according to her. Personally, given my reason for being unemployed I’m not feeling the stigma. It amused me to be classed as a homemaker, I honestly never thought I’d describe myself as such. Finally, after remembering that wish when I was 20, I’ve decided that this is the description for my current stage – retired.

It’s been quite nice to have been “retired” for a few weeks, although the shine will wear off soon as almost every plan involves “step 1: get a job”

So, what have I been doing in the 3.5 weeks since I landed?

  • getting to know the local area: Redhill and Reigate in Surrey. Post on this to follow soon. However, importantly, the hunt for good coffee has either been decided, OR my standards have dropped. Possibly a combination of the two. Maybe, I miss the vibe of Inner West cafes, but the coffee itself is fine.
  • working out what gaps there are in J and my combined household items, and starting to fill them. Once we move from this place, (one of the plans that involves step 1: get a job) we’ll need almost every essential item, as this is a furnished flat.
  • meeting J’s friends, mostly at the pub. They all seem lovely, not yet a replacement for the wonderful people I spent my time with in Sydney. But that level of comfortability and closeness comes with time.
  • getting to know J’s flatmate (and now my flatmate I suppose, although that’s a bit odd to say). He’s nice and friendly, and generally stays in his room, due to an addiction to his XboX. It died last a week, there was much happiness when it was repaired and returned.
  • catching up with friends in England, which has been really good. One of the joys of not yet working and having madly saved for the last year means that I can justify a few weeks of slowly taking it all in and seeing people when it’s convenient.
  • meeting J’s daughter, which is going quite well so far. I’m getting used to the concept of parenting and realising I need patience to deal with a naturally boisterous and changeable 9 yr old. Some days are better than others, but I suspect any parent will say the same. We’re getting on well so far, J says that she likes me as she is neither shy nor showing off when I’m around. The cuddle I got when we were watching Doctor Who and it got a little scary might suggest this is true.
  • meeting J’s parents and visiting their place in Devon. They live on in a farmhouse with some sheep, a cat, some chickens and one very excitable dog that is a lot like a kelpie, specifically the kelpie I grew up with, which was a bit eerie. She’s as obsessed with playing fetch as my brother’s dog is, so that was easy to cope with and quite settling in many ways. I got on with J’s parents quite well, and seemed to be approved of as I’m easy going and don’t stand on ceremony. I possibly overdosed on tea while I was there as that’s the default social option.
  • travelling up to London to see things and stuff. I went for a walk down Chancery lane, which was spectacular, especially King’s College. Unfortunately I left my Camera behind that day. Saw the hats exhibition at the V&A, which was crowded but the hats were stunning and kindled a small “I want to do some millinery” flame. (Marina: it had Johnny Depp’s hat from Pirates of the Caribbean, just thought you might want to know)
  • went to Brighton for an afternoon/evening to see Scruffy and Juliana and celebrate Meg and Snerg’s wedding in absentia (it looked like a lovely ceremony from the photos)
  • taking life slowly, possibly for the first time in years. I’m simply having fun planning meals to ensure we eat well, but cheaply, and use up everything we purchase. In the first 2 weeks I was here I also got in a cleaned the place. Not that it was horribly grotty, just, as my friend Mikkles said when I mentioned it to her: “you have to get in and clean and sit on every chair to make sure the place feels like yours”, which is precisely it. Also, I’m not paying rent at the moment so it seems like a fair swap.
  • managed to get a bank account set up, and transferred some money into it yesterday. This would have happened a lot sooner if I’d remembered where I’d put my bank statements from Australia. Still, that’s a Herculean task taken care of.
  • been watching gardens grow, trees put on leaves and robins and jackdaws. I arrived right at the beginning of spring and the difference 3 weeks makes is astounding. Trees that were bare now cannot be seen through, and ground that was bare is now partially covered in plants. Actually, seeing bare ground which is not blasted dry by the sun is astounding enough.

This all feels a bit like a temporary holiday, and that in a few weeks I’ll be going back to the Newtown with it’s familiar pathways, food, people and vibe. That shortly I’ll have to front up at my desk at DECC and get on with work while jetlagged (as I did every other time I’ve been in England) That’s starting to wear off. Hopefully now I have a bank account and after my shipping arrives it will feel less like a holiday where I’m staying at a friend’s house (albeit a very close friend) and more like the life I’ve chosen to live. Whichever way, given the need to find a job to get on with all the other wonderful plans, and the shipping and banking and the fact it’s been a month since I arrived I suspect stage 2 – find work and become part of the economy starts on Monday.

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Most of my life I have woken up alert. I know where I am and what day is it and within a few minutes can tell you what I am doing that morning.

Recently I’ve been very, very confused first thing in the morning, thinking it’s the weekend and sleeping through my alarm. Then slowly realising it’s actually a weekday, a middle-of-the-weekday, and I need to get up.


Perhaps it’s the sunlight which now streams through my room each morning as it is warm enough to leave the blinds open overnight. Making me think; “It’s a lovely gentle day, it must be the weekend”.

In other daylight/weather related observations, something about Sydney at the moment makes me think I’m in Arizona. No idea why, and it’s been going on for a few weeks now. Might be something about the light? Some smell in the air? The contrast from cold days 2 weeks ago to quite warm days now?

Funny thing is I’ve been to Arizona for a sum total of 5 days of my life. This time last year. And it’s not Tempe-Mesa weather I’m thinking of either (except the very early morning and late night air), no this is Flagstaff weather. I spent a sum total of 2 days in Flagstaff…

Even more odd.

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I’ve been sick recently, so was told to take time off work until I felt better. Which should be today, and back to work tomorrow.

Today I spent some time at Uni doing a bit of research for my soon-to-be-due essay. Then I had lunch on King St, at 2pm at Lou Jack’s.

I was cut off at the entrance by a tall man, who I promptly got a little grumpy at, then wondered why he looked familiar.

The answer: he was a wiggle, specifically, Murray the Red Wiggle. OK, so I didn’t actually have lunch with him, he sat at a different table. But “I had lunch NEAR a wiggle” just doesn’t have the same ring.

As I was waiting for my hamburger to appear (which incidentally was very, very good. Highly recommended) I glanced out the window to see Jay, from triplej’s breakfast show and Frenzal Rhomb go cycling past. So, obviously all the cool kids are at the corner of King and Holt St, Newtown at 2pm on a Monday afternoon.

Large MothAlso in the wow! cool! category is this moth, which was on my washing this afternoon. Purdy! It loved my shirt so much that it took a couple of good shakes to encourage it to “hide” elsewhere. Someone needs to teach it that pink is not a good camouflage background colour for a grey moth.

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